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January 12 Stupid Me! An ex co-worker and I became good friends and I let her borrow $500 to get her out of a bad spot so she wouldn't be kicked out of her trailer. We talked every day for a long time and now I can't get a hold of her and I want my money back. I don't know what to do...She won't answer her phone. This is really nervewracking. I'm so foolish. I should never have let her borrow the money, especially a large amount like that. Well I've learned my lesson. January 10 The Absence of My Grandmother- The Wake and Funeral It will never be the same without her. The wake and the funeral was very painful for my family and me. It was so sad. My mom and my aunt wrote some very nice things for the preacher to say. To see her lying in the casket was a little of a shock. It made it so real...she's really gone. I kept looking at her expecting her to start breathing even though I knew she wouldn't.
She was a great person. Everyone in town loved her. She always took the time to say hello to everyone and talk a little with them. She was always smiling and laughing. I don't think I had ever heard her say something mean about someone else. I'll miss her dancing around the house and telling her jokes and stories. The thing that really encourages me though is that all throughout her sickness she never gave up. She continued to work and do the same things she did before. She lived her life to the fullest and that is what everyone should strive to do!
I love you Grandma..and even though you're not on this earth, I know you're in a better place and you will always be with me in my heart!  January 03 A Poem About WomenEl hombre caza y lucha. La mujer intriga y sueña;
es la madre de la fantasía, de los dioses. Posee la
segunda visíon, las alas que le permiten volar hacia
el infinito del deseo y de la imaginacíon... Los
dioses son como los hombres; nacen y mueren sobre
el pecho de una mujer...
Jules Michelet
Translation:
The man hunts and fights. The woman intrigues and dreams;
she is the mother of fantasy, of the Gods. She possesses the
second vision, the wings that permit her to fly toward
the horizon of desire and imagination...The
Gods are like men; they are born and they die on
a woman's breast. January 02 Grandma continued and also Betrayal My grandma died at 4 this morning. She was such a great person and I'm glad that God picked her for my grandma. God definitely answered my prayers because he let her die peacefully in her sleep and I thank him for that.
Now from all this comes even more sadness and hurt because now a really closeknit family has broken up because my uncle went off on my grandpa and said he's through with him because of a mistake on my grandpa's part for which he apologized. My uncle would not accept his apology and now my grandpa's scared he's gonna have to go to a home now that his wife is dead. My mom tried to comfort him and all my aunts went and told my uncle what my mom was doing and then my uncle came over and went off on my mom. My mom is mad at all of her brothers and sisters for doing this to her and I'm hurt too because it's so stupid. They should be coming closer together because their mother has died.
I'm even more hurt because my uncle scott did this. Instead of viewing my dad as superman, I viewed my uncle scott as superman. He was always so good to me and I admired him and I kind of wished that he was my dad. When he had his daughter I always asked why can't my father be like that with me? Why can't my father look at me like that? Why can't he talk to me like that or hug me when I'm crying? Why? After my uncle doing all this though I see him in a different light and I feel kind of betrayed. I feel like he's two-faced and like I never knew him at all. |
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